Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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