We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
