i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
