she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
