so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
