Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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