I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize