had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
