You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
