no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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