Fuck appropriateness.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
