Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
