He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize