so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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