i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
