You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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