We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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