i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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