mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She's the barista slut.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
