i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
