He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
