names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
