I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize