You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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