I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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