At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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