Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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