the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
