I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
