When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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