I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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