Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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