i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
