Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
