Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
