VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
