So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
