whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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