I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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