I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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