We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
