My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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