Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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