We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
