she looked like the bat from fern gully.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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