im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
