with your own penis?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
