Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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