I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You ate ashes out of my bong
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize