dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
