I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
