I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
vagina is talking i cant
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
