we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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