i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
