I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
