You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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