end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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