I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize