Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
